Snow Blowers

This morning, before heading to work, I grabbed a snow shovel and cleared the driveway and walks. As I labored, I noticed neighbors walking behind snow blowers effortlessly spreading snow away from the cement. My back hurt. My shoulder hurt. Boy, would it have been nice to have a snowblower too.

Wait a minute...just a second...I should have a snow blower. I deserve a snow blower. To struggle with a shovel, what, with my back, my shoulder, in what kind of country do we live? Its not fair.

I have an idea: a snow blower tax. Levy a tax against those with snowblowers, those fortunate and lucky enough to live the life of luxury. Its only proper for them to give a little back to the community. With the moneys raised, the government could assist those in need...like me.

Think about it. Inevitably, children walk on the sidewalks. If the walks aren't cleared, they could slip and fall.

You don't think I deserve and need a snow blower? Then you must want bad things to happen to the poor little children? I knew it!!! You want them to slip, to fall, to hurt themselves.

Wait a minute...I have a better idea. Jesus said that we are supposed to help others. It is only morally just that those with snow blowers take the time to remove the snow for those without such modern conveniences. When my neighbors saw me struggling, what with my back, and my shoulder, they, in order to spread the love of Christ, should have marched over to my driveway and helped.

My wife is pregnant. The ice and snow present a dangerous risk to her and the baby. If my neighbors were only doing what Jesus instructed them to do, I wouldn't have to worry. But what if they don't? What if they choose not to help, not to clear my sidewalks? What could happen to my wife, my unborn child?

A law. We must have a law. For the sake of the women, the children, legislation must be drafted
immediately. Not a second to lose. Maybe an executive order might do the trick. Regardless, we must require snow blower owners, for the good of society, to assist those without snowblowers. The "haves" helping the "have nots". Those with "the ability" giving to those with "the need".

Are you saying that we cannot force those with snow blowers to help those with shovels? I am incredulous!! You hate pregnant women and unborn children too!! I'm disgusted, and anyway, I have to go and petition some legislators...